You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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