i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
