If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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