Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize