Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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