It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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