So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize