I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
