My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
