I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
