If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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