the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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