Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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