She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
