In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
