you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
