My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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