We're like a lot better than the average bears
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
