we're blogging at a bar
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
