i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
