As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
