hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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