try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
