Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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