My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just tell him i said nine months
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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