What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize