I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just found puke in my bra..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
