I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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