32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
