So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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