I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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