I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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