im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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