He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
