Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
