Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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