you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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