yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
two words...techno handjob
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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