He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
