You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize