oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
