at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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