Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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