Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
