so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize