Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
