if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
