operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
