hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
