so explain again why im purple
no
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
