As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
