I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
