East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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