Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
