I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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