Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize