you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize