Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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