So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
